My hand turned me down
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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