Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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