omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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