Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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