I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
