Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize