He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
