I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i out mim tonsoeep
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