You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
