There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
