On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
