She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
