Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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