so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize