you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
