How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
