My room smells like vodka and shame
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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