He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
