Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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