You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
