Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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