I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
