and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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