I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
