Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize