Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If I die, sorry about rent.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
