i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
