I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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