seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
