You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
