Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I am in a vortex of obligation.
from now on my penis is your penis
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
