Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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