last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Couch. On fire.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
