Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
what day is it and did you see me today?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
