so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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