You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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