And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
