Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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