The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
