Got a toothbrush?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
