Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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