just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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