her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
