Im at strip club and am horny
I just pynch a tree in the face
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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