let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
