I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Randomize
