sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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