peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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