Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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