I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
high people should be assigned attendants
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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