Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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