so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
