Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
