Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
