I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
