i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
