Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The best revenge is premature balding
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
