you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
