I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
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In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
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He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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