A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
