I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Hippo gnu deer
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
