I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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