yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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